October 16: 15 weeks 3 days

I have decided that I am really, really ready to feel better. Really.

 

I recall hearing women talk about their pregnancies over the past few years – “this is it”, “we are done”, “no way will there be anymore”. And I always wondered if I would ever feel that way? I used to joke that it was good I didn’t start having kids at a much younger age as I would have 12 (and probably be broke).

 

I can officially say, “this is it”. I am done after this one.

 

AB laughed when I told him this – “but of course you are, you will be 41 when you have this one and we were never planning on more than 3!”

 

No, I explained to him, you don’t understand. My gut, my brain, my heart all say this is it and I don’t want to do this again. That’s huge for me. I never thought I would get to this point.

 

I think he got what I was saying.

 

So 15 weeks this weekend.

 

We finally came out on Facebook this past weekend. I was shocked at how many people – people who I don’t see on a regular basis even – said, “I had no idea!” almost as if they should have.

 

I found this kind of funny. I know you didn’t. Because we didn’t tell. And we mean no offense by it at all. There was one couple we wished we had gotten to - but just logistics didn't allow it. So her comment - yes, she is the one that gets to be shocked!

 

Really I think we intended to announce it earlier, but time just got away from us. Seriously this pregnancy #3 is flying by. I feel like I am going to blink my eyes and be in L&D (of course a few days past my due date) and wonder where time went.

 

 

So yes, I am done after this one and I feel it in my heart. That doesn’t mean I want to skip over the coming few months – provided things start looking up and I quit feeling like crappola. This pregnancy hasn’t been easy. AB reminds me that I was so much sicker with Skadi. I was, yes. But I have had more ailments and other issues with this one. This Sunday night and Monday day was a touch of the stomach flu – or food poisoning. I am starting to come back – ever so slowly.

 

Oct 7, 14 weeks 1 day

Wow, this pregnancy is FLYING by. I am already 14 weeks? How is that even possible.

Symptoms: Still puking daily. At this point it isn't really that big of a deal. I feel crummy in the morning, after I puke, I feel better. And I feel mostly fine all day until 9-10pm at which point I am just best off being in bed. The fatigue has let up. I can make it through the day without a nap, or feeling as if I am so tired I am going to fall over.

Food: Aversions a plenty. I don't crave anything. There are things that taste better than others - I can usually tolerate an English Muffin at just about any time. I should have bought stock in the Thomas brand - they have the best English Muffins. Apple juice, that usually tastes pretty good, but I have to be careful not to overdo it as it will also make me queasy. Miso soup has never tasted so good. And hot tea. Love some good hot tea. But I am not craving anything in particular.

Purchases: None. I don't need much, but since this is the last one and we are finding out gender I am waiting to buy items so I can buy gender specific! Something I haven't been able to do to this point!

Names: We have two girl first names and two boy first names. The way AB said it the other day it seemed pretty simple. I had a list for both, but we agreed that none on the list trumped the two we had for each gender. So there it is. Middle names up next. Then ruling out one gender.

I went on travel this past week and it wasn't horrible. The biggest hurdle was not letting it be totally obvious that I am pregnant. I was with about 8 other staff members, none of which know I am pregnant. And probably only one who would actually care when she finds out. It isn't that telling people is that big of a deal at this point I suppose - it's that I haven't spilled to my own direct managers. Not sure why that is seeming hard at this point. I suppose maybe because I am still hoping (probably fruitlessly hoping) for that promotion to the next PM level. Though I am realizing that at this point the decisions have been made and that in theory my being pregnant or not shouldn't have a bearing at this point. Not that it SHOULD have a bearing at any point, but I work in the dark ages.

I felt my first actual little kick the other night. It felt like someone flicked me with their finger. I have felt the little "butterfly kisses" here and there for awhile, but the first kick was just a couple nights ago.

I had one of those surreal moments the other day. You know where it suddenly hits you that "oh, that would be me!" Someone mentioned something about buying newborn diapers. Oh crap yeah! I am going to be changing itty bitty diapers again!

Anyways, there's my update for my entrance into the second trimester. Let's hope it is easier than the first!

Names

I actually have a favorite boy’s name. AB seems to like it, but doesn’t want to put too much thought into names at this point since we are planning to find out the gender. THEN we will worry about names.

 

 

But I came across a name I like. And AB perked up when I mentioned it.

 

 

We have always had trouble with boy’s names. It is good that Skadi wasn’t a boy… We can come up with umpteen girl’s names (though we have our two leading favorites), but boys perplex us. We knew early on that Leif would be Leif. We both loved it. Skadi was a last minute decision between her name and one of the two current leading favorites.

 

 

Now the issue with this boy’s name? It is currently ranked #183 in the US according to one website. In our world of names, that is popular. And therefore a little concerning. My kids don’t worry about having the same name as 10 other little kids around.

 

 

Skadi (common saying coming from her): “She is one of my Maddie friends.” (Because she has SO many friends named Maddie… kind of like Jennifer when I was a kid.)

 

 

Ugh.

 

 

I am struggling with this.

 

 

Oh and then it isn’t Scandinavian. It is Hebrew. Another complication?

 

 

And don’t even get me started on middle names. Middle names are family names by my family’s tradition. A tradition that AB and I have latched onto for Leif and Skadi. Leif John (after AB’s dad) and Skadi Jeanne (after me, my mom, my grandma, my great grandma…).

 

 

AB suggested my mom’s name for a girl’s middle name. I declined it in favor of her favorite girl’s name – she always wanted a granddaughter named after her grandmother. I might be able to slip it by AB as a middle name, but as a first name I could never get him to latch on.

 

 

A boy’s middle name? I may resort to pushing my maternal grandfather’s middle name again. Though unique, AB can cite 2 guys he has known with this name – yes and one I knew. And he was a bit of a doofus. He was one of my students in grad school who ended up working with AB after his graduation with a BS in chemistry.

 

 

But really, open to any and all suggestions on the middle name front.

 

And yes, we are sticking to our same tradition with the other two kids of not divulging names until the child is born. Though some who are close may be able to glean some hints on middle names.

 

Sept 30: 13 weeks 1 day

Hello 2nd trimester!

Would you please take the nausea and fatigue and run please first trimester? Pretty please?

I seem to have an every other day thing going on. One day I feel pretty good, the next I puke and am nauseated and completely fatigued. I guess I am headed in the right direction though - down from the everyday thing.

I had my 12 week appt this week. Yes, a mild uterine prolapse, though it should correct itself here in the next few weeks as my uterus grows into my abdomen.

Then we went to listen for the heartbeat with the Doppler and nothing. Not a peep. I actually wasn't terribly concerned as I had read my 12 week appt details with Skadi and we couldn't find it then either. Plus, I had puked that morning and felt urky while sitting there. But just to be sure Dr. M decided to take another look with the ultrasound and sure enough a little heart beating quickly.

We didn't get a heart rate this time, or any pictures, but saw the arms and legs crossed, head down, heart, bladder. Sweet baby!!

I am still not to that point where I am enjoying eating. Nor do I particularly enjoy brushing my teeth. And I am not puking first thing in the morning... if I puke it is a bit later. So really not enjoying eating, brushing my teeth, then deciding I am going to puke and getting to do those two thins all over again. Gag.

Skadi and I went to buy a formal dress for the R&D100 awards. She was in her element and found dress after dress for me to try on. I ended up leaving with the first one I had grabbed - and Skadi's least favorite (it is navy, not pink). But I believe it will be flattering with a baby bump as it is side ruched and stretchy fabric. And because they were there and actually felt good, I bought a pair of strappy heels and a shawl to go with. Came home and ordered a strapless bra and I do think I am nearly set.

I go on travel next week to Las Vegas. Can't say that I am overly thrilled about it, but really not looking forward to the return trip home. I leave at 6pm and get in here at 10:45pm. Will be very happy to be home for the night, but hope I can tolerate the flights without throwing up. AB has suggested that I take a compazine before getting on the plane and sleep the whole way home. That might work.

Sept 25: 12 weeks 3 days

 

Wow, closing in on the completion of the first trimester! Awesome!

As of today I am feeling better. I didn’t puke today, but I am not sure that really says a lot. Particularly since I puked yesterday and a single data point says nothing. But the all day nausea and urky feeling is nearing gone. The metal mouth is pretty well gone as well as the extreme after tastes. And much to my relief, the fatigue is lifting. The fatigue has really been killing me, but I don’t feel the need to nap lately.

We have told all our family – or at least all the family that probably cares. And starting to tell the general public on an as needed basis. Like the other day one of my coworkers was trying to get me to come down to the lab to see and smell how it was going. We had a large chemical/fire event thing last February and the lab is FINALLY getting cleaned out. But he proclaimed, “it still stinks some”. I told him that I can’t come down until the chemical smell is gone, completely. He was perplexed as I had been in there a number of times in the last 8 months. I finally gave it up and told him I am pregnant. Talk about surprise!

I have my 12 week appointment tomorrow morning. Thank goodness. I have one major concern – I think I am getting a uterine prolapse. Anyways, ugh. Don’t need to talk anymore about that and I will wait and see what he has to say tomorrow. I called last week and they told me no lifting or straining and to spend as much time as I can with my feet up. Working on that… not sure how effectively.

Food – my hate hate relationship with food might be improving. I might be willing to cook some actual dinner again someday… maybe even in time for my book club on Oct 12!

Haven't puked in three days!

Just saying!

10 weeks, 2 days today.

Nearing the Double Digits - 9 weeks 4 days

And I still can’t believe we haven’t really told anyone!

 

 

Let’s see, general update:

 

 

Puking every morning – check, got that one down.

General nausea – check, all day long. Mastered that one.

Headaches – Very sick of them thank you.

Fatigue – Excuse me while I go take a nap, I will come back to this later…

 

 

I think I can deal with the puking every morning. I have learned not to eat first, because it just means that whatever I throw up I don’t want to eat anymore ever ever again. And I already have enough stuff on my list that I don’t want to eat. Anyways, it would be nice to not puke every day, but it isn’t like with Skadi where I was puking round the clock. Nausea I can somewhat control at this point by not letting myself get too hungry – of course that means that I am eating a ton of carbs… and being a pain in the rear about meetings that are back to back to back or span the lunch hour. Also I am sure I am starting my weight gain early.

 

 

But what is really driving me absolutely batty is the fatigue. My poor kids get to the afternoon and want to actually DO stuff. I get to 2-3pm and if I don’t lay down and take a nap I will probably fall down. And take a nap. This fatigue is killer this time around. I get home from work to meet the bus and can barely keep my eyes open.

 

 

I had a good 8 week appointment. I think Dr. M was a bit surprised to see me sitting there. Ok, he actually said as much. We had long discussions about complications and potential issues given the fact that I am 40. I decided on a moderate level of testing – Ultrasound at 10-11 weeks, quad screen at about 14 weeks and only if those items and the big ultrasound at 18 weeks are questionable, then an amnio. Would rather not pursue the amnio if we don’t really need to.