Starting on 10

Today starts month 10 of trying. 10. Double digits.

Truly I didn't think I would be here. And then of course I thought FOR SURE it would be this month.

It is amazing how I can get my hopes up every single month.

This is the first month that AB has really been questioning his resolve to continue this path of trying for another. He said to me the other day, "do you realize that means we would be 58 when this child would graduate?"

And how old will we be in 18 years if we don't have a child? 58.

I have the resolve, I think, to keep on through the end of the calendar year. Though I have to admit that the coincidence of that timing with my 40th birthday could be a bit trying. I guess I keep thinking that as long as I have little bitty ones I am not old, right?

And my youngest isn't so bitty anymore. She talks back. That's not bitty.

I am trying to wrap my head around the notion of getting rid of the baby clothes. And baby stuff. While the thought of all that extra storage space is appealing, I just cannot wrap my head around parting with it.

Because cycle 10 is the lucky one!