And 19 months later...

I tested positive today.

19 months ago we decided to try for #3.

It didn't happen.

7 months ago we decided to surrender.

3 months ago I decided to start getting rid of baby stuff.

I spent the last month and a half sorting through everything remaining that I hadn't gotten rid of already related to baby and labeling it all for a garage sale to happen in exactly 12 days.

And then I got my positive this morning.

It was a surprise - and then it wasn't.

Sore breasts - just like I was getting my period. Then the period didn't come. Then at day 27 of my cycle (yesterday) I woke up nauseated and stayed nauseated all day.

This morning I woke up nauseated and stayed nauseated.

It had to be a bug - because I didn't start getting sick with Skadi until I was 6 weeks along. Then I was oh so very, very sick.

Oh and then there's the test. Very positive. With the other two I didn't get positives until well after my period was due. Strong positive before my period is due?

I am scared!

So much is going through my mind right now.

Happy. Scared. Nervous.

I think I am more nervous with this one then the other two.

And if you know me and you are reading this. Mums the word for a little longer.