March 26, 38 weeks 3 days

Well I made it past my milestones! This baby will NOT share a birthday with his sister!

Skadi kept saying it would be the best present ever, but AB and I were pretty sure that would not be the case. Phew.

My days seem to be sinusoidal. One day will be fabulous and I will have a ton of energy. The next full of aches, pains, contractions and not feeling great. Certain that labor is just around the corner. Then the contractions peter off and I have a comfortable day following.

Sunday my tailbone started aching and sitting became uncomfortable. Within about an hour I was unable to walk by myself and had to rely on AB to get me anywhere in the house. Right off the bat - paranoia - was the baby ok? What if the kids needed me? What if I could not get to them? Should I let AB go to work in the morning?

AB's concerns were similar - was the baby ok? Should I go to work? Are you sure they aren't contractions?

Appears this isn't completely unheard of and is simply termed "Pelvic Girdle Pain" by some. It can happen when the baby drops (and I think he has dropped - my heartburn is pretty well gone) in combination with nerve pain/overuse (i.e., being too active). I tried Tylenol to no avail. Had a good night's sleep and the extreme pain had pretty well gone away Monday morning. At least I was able to move myself around unassisted.

I didn't dare walk the kids down to the bus stop (but watched them at the stop from the window). I also didn't dare drive as I was worried my legs wouldn't respond appropriately. I am feeling more confident on my feet this morning - 36 hrs later. But I doubt I will be walking the halls during labor like I did with Skadi.

We are still struggling with names believe it or not. I told AB last night that I wish a new name would pop up that would really trump the other three. The three we have selected are good names, I would be happy with any of the three, but none really blows me away. I have my favorite of the three (and for the record, Leif sides with me). AB has his favorite of the three. Mine is the non-Scandinavian name, though it appears on the Norwegian popularity chart and sounds as though it goes with my kids' names. The other two are typical Scandinavian boy names. A few that had been on the list of 10 maybe popped back up last night. But none of the names are really popping for AB and me.

Emotions. Oh my goodness out of control. The other week at Leif's parent teacher conference his teacher told us about how Leif had really latched onto a book about a boy writing poetry (we knew something had triggered this as he has been writing poetry, and it is surprisingly good). But the muse for writing poetry in the book was the boy's dog being hit by a car.

Oh my goodness tears. Uncontrollable. His teacher felt so bad!

But stupid sentimental commercials get me. Thinking about my mom gets me. Thinking about my grandma gets me. I seem to be just an emotional mess lately!

So back to my ob tomorrow for my 38 week appointment.

37 Week Appt

Well I officially know now what a mucus plug looks like. Nasty stuff. But mine? Gone.

The 37 week appointment was a good one for the most part. The baby is still head down. I was given the choice whether I wanted Dr. M to check me or not and I decided maybe I was curious if those contractions have been doing anything at all. Baby is high - as usual, neither of my other two dropped until I was in active labor - but lo and behold I was dilated about a centimeter.

I wasn't "green as a gourd"! Those contractions ARE working!

Dr. M thinks I will probably make it to the next appointment, but maybe not. He thinks labor will happen in the next week or two - maybe week to 10 days. Prediction is an averaged size baby, about the same as Leif and Skadi (7 lbs 8 oz and 7 lbs 15 oz respectively).

A few mild concerns. 6 lbs of weight gain in a week, well that is obviously water weight as apparent by my feet and calves and the fact that no one gains 6 lbs in a week. But also my blood pressure was "borderline". My systolic was 140!! I have never in my entire life had high or even borderline blood pressure. That is high, but my diastolic was 70, so I was called borderline.

I have been having a lot of soreness and random contractions, so I bravely asked him to write me out of work. But give me two more days to finish wrapping things up. So as of the day I write this - 37 weeks 6 days, Friday the 22nd, I am officially off of work.

And THAT is what is freaking me out.

I can birth a baby. I can care for a newborn. No problem.

Not work for the next 8-10 weeks? Freaking the crap out of me. I have a few control issues.

And I have such varying responses from the people I work with it honestly doesn't help. One guy I have worked on the Navy project with for 5 years told me a few weeks ago:

KR: "seriously you are going to go out on leave and come back and we are all going to think 'you're back already'?"

His tune was only slightly changed yesterday.

KR: "I can call you, right? Cause I guarantee I am going to be calling you."

Then he made me promise to spend at least 15 minutes just sitting on my couch doing nothing for him. He has twin 2 year olds and an 8 week old at home and said he would pay money to just sit.

Then there is the other guy I work with a lot lately in multiple capacities, PM and co-PI. GE has been in denial about the pregnancy. Completely.

Yesterday I entertained multiple e-mail communications from him of a panicked sort. Him? Not so happy about my absence, but finally sent a note saying they would "muddle through".

I truly do trust everyone I work with and they are some incredibly intelligent people. I am lucky. I love my job right now, I have confidence in what I do, others have confidence in me and I see my career on a good trajectory. It is probably that the baby isn't here yet, but not flipping on my e-mail and responding is taking everything I have within me right now.

36 week appointment 3/12

Another not terribly interesting appointment. I can't believe how soon the due date is sneaking up!

BP = 120/60
Weight Gain = +1 lb for a total of 17 lbs. (And proving that that last spurt of weight gain was all water.)
Baby is head down, but not dropped.

I seem to have random contractions. Yesterday, I was positive that the 6-8 min apart contractions were going to tighten up and we were going to head to the hospital. But nope. They ended up petering out in the early evening after plaguing me all day. And today, nothing. Like Sunday and Monday, nothing.

My doctor is estimating 2 more weeks. We will see. I am still measuring ahead.

I am worn out though, but I suspect that this largely has to do with work running me into the ground and not the pregnancy. The stress of work is starting to get to me and I am starting to get this attitude of "I really do not care anymore". Which is bad. I was given the lead (for my lab) on a large, multi-lab (6 total) venture proposal. It is very political external to our lab and I feel as though I am watching every single step I make. I am thrilled about this position and in a way, feel as though I am letting everything else suffer in the name of nurturing this proposal along. Thankfully on nearly everything else I have people willing to pick up after me.

If I can just get this draft proposal out the door and hopefully have a second telecon with the team at large... that is the goal. Make it through Wednesday of next week.

We went and registered at the hospital last Friday and took the kids on a tour of the birthing center. The poor nurse who gave us the tour though - my kids had loads of questions. What is this for? What is that for? Why is the baby holder there in this room and it was out in the other room? Can you roll out the couch so we can see the bed? I think they enjoyed it.

Skadi keeps asking if I have scheduled the day the baby is coming yet. I keep telling her that there isn't any scheduling, the baby comes when he wants to come. I don't think she believes me.

Skadi is very engaged with the whole baby thing and loves to hug and love on my belly. Leif is seeming more indifferent.

I loved this picture Skadi drew:

34 Week Appointment

Pretty blah appointment actually. It was extremely fast. My ob looked like he had just been to the war and back and I really wanted to tell him to cancel the rest of the day and go home and sleep. Or hand him my latte and tell him he actually needed it a whole lot more than I do. Anyways, it was bad enough that I was glad he takes extensive notes because I am not sure he would remember seeing me, especially since at one point he called me by the wrong name. And we know each other – we run in similar social circles and when we see each other at the Court Club, he always remembers us by name.

Let’s see – baby is 50^th percentile. Great. Amniotic fluid is at a “normal” level – which he was skeptical about especially given that I am still measuring 2 weeks ahead. He thinks it was an artifact of not having a high res ultrasound. He explained how the measurements are taken in each of the four quadrants, but if you see cord in any of the three quadrants, you don’t use that quadrant’s measurement. Well you don’t have to be a statistician to see that can cause major problems in measurements. He suspects that my fluid is still high, but not crazy high. So for now we are just going to go forward calling everything normal.

Baby was head down, but not engaged, he is “floating”. I could have told him this. He swaps positions all the time. I usually wake up with him transverse and throughout the day he switches head down. The other night I swear he was doing somersaults while *I* was trying to sleep.

We talked about my crazy heartburn, but he felt that by the time we got me switched over to one of the other meds for that and it kicked in (since the drugs a step up are a more cumulative effect type of thing), I will have birthed. Talked about the contractions. I had one hefty one this morning that did the full on start in the back and radiate around my sides to my belly and lasted for 60 seconds while I gasped and tried not to make a huge deal out of it as I leaned on the counter in front of the kids. Only a few mild contractions after that and none but the usual Braxton Hicks on occasion since then.

I am under direct orders not to show my face at my next appointment until I have registered at the hospital. My day is open on Friday… maybe I will do lunch with my husband and run and do that then.

Heart rate was 130-140 bpm.

Weight gain – oh my. I am convinced it is a ton of water weight though. Suddenly my rings had to come off, my hands have swollen and my feet are swollen. But then again it may be indicative of my desire to actually eat again. Ok, the number. I am up a total of 16 lbs now. So I think that puts me at a weight gain of 5 lbs in TWO weeks!! ACK!

BP: 124/76

I think I am finally feeling like this IS going to happen soon. We talked to the kids about it the other night. Explaining that they will have to go and stay with our friends. If history holds true for me, it will be in the middle of the night. We will have a bag for the kids and their sleeping bags and drop them at one of our friends’ house. Leif’s big concern was what happens after 5am? Hans and I sat there and pondered what he was asking. Finally he explained that he was concerned about what happens if dad has already gone to work (at 5am) and mom goes into labor then. What is he supposed to do? I think we worked out that it won’t be a big deal, the baby doesn’t just come spraying out, there will be time for me to get them to a friend's house and dad to come get me or something. (I hope.)

I have some things to clear up at work. One report I need to get out the door. A few monthly and quarterly reports I need to write or at least outline for my replacements. Things should be pretty good there. I do have a delegate replacement and she cracked me up after one of our meetings yesterday. “You will be able to talk on the phone when we need, right?” she asked. “Of course!” I exclaimed. “Good,” she said, “because you might think everything is going to be easy and smooth, but he is going to flip out at least once without you here. You know he completely relies on you.”

Good to know I am needed.

I met with my HR department straight after my appointment today and all was as expected. No surprises there. I am hoping to be able to be out on leave through the end of the school year… though not sure that will actually happen for a few reasons (possibility of birthing well before due date, potential of husband on furlough – nice to have him there at home with us, not nice for both of us to not be receiving paycheck if I take unpaid FMLA to cover that time… ).

 

Update 33 weeks 5 days

I am closing in on the 34 week mark and looking forward to my next prenatal. The ultrasound last week went well, but it is always interesting how some techs inspire confidence and others… just don’t.

She was nice and all, but seemed more focused on getting us good pictures of the face and feet on her non-high res ultrasound machine (believe me I have good ultrasound pictures from a high res machine) then getting good measurements of fluid and baby. Anyways, that didn’t inspire confidence in the scientist side of me. She said fluid levels were “about normal” and baby was about 4 lbs 13 oz (I saw the four measurements - they oscillated between 3 lbs 12 oz and 5 lbs 4 oz - also little confidence there), which is almost a half-pound over normal for 33 weeks. At the ultrasound he was head down, but he seems to swing between transverse and head down pretty regularly. I routinely wake up in the morning with a VERY transverse baby sticking out on both sides and sometime during the day he switches to head down. So I don’t know if it is my sleeping position that is prompting the transverse swap or what. Either way, I am not terribly concerned about it, he seems to routinely go to that head down position, so I suspect at some point he will go there and stay.

 

The nursery is about 90% done. Painted, nearly set up except for the crib – which needs a bit of work. And I need to clear out the closet and the many Rubbermaid bins scattered all over the floor. I have washed 80% of the stuff that needs washed. Nearly everything 0-9 mos has been washed and sorted into dresser drawers. Everything 12 mos and up is sorted into Rubbermaid bins that will be labeled and stacked in his cleaned out closet.

 

There are only a couple things - small things - I need to buy still. Basically a new hand pump (my old Avent Isis just looks nasty) and replacement pump parts for my electric. Neither is high on the “must have now” list.

 

Names… oh my. I don’t even know what to say. We had it narrowed down to #1 and #2. Then AB decided he wasn’t that into #1. I liked the name, but it was probably in reality my #2 name. It is amazing what this admission did… that poor name is nearly off our list now. The #2 name (the uber-popular non-Scandinavian name – uber-popular, in our world at least, means it made the top 300 boys’ names in the US in 2011) is now about top of the list and we have a whole other list of possible contenders including a couple that are a bit out there (thanks AB...). And don’t even get me started on middle names.

 

I mentioned the other day in Leif’s presence to someone that we didn’t have a name yet. Leif said, “I thought it was (insert prior #1 name)?” So maybe he does listen?

 

I have had a few people recently ask how I feel. I think I must be looking huge or something as I have had a few people jump on me about my plans and setting things in motion for my leave. With the last two kids I was just a peon working on projects for the most part. Taking 8 weeks off had little impact on what I was working. Not so this time around. Though one of my good friends and coworkers put it to me this way, “honestly, it may seem like 8-10 weeks is a long time to you, but it is going to fly by in the blink of an eye to us. Seriously you will be gone and then you will be back. Just like that!”

 

My role has changed at work in the last 5 years to Project Manager from Scientist. Which means I have responsibility for scope, schedule and budget of presently 6-7 projects. Not to mention that I have 9 proposals/white papers currently pending responses from potential clients who are likely sitting on their hands while we push through the current budget crisis. Anyways, it hasn’t been easy to find another me. In my reviews at work I am routinely hearing how my work is diverse - at first that was bad, now it is good. I am experiencing that right now – I have a number of really great people to tap, but I can hit each one with only one of the many diverse areas I am working in.

 

The other new aspect for me is that I actually lost out on the lead of a major program because of my pregnancy. And the managers weren’t shy about telling me, “I am sorry, but we need someone who can over the next 6 months nurture and care for this client since this relationship is already on the rocks.” I totally get it – I would say the same thing in their shoes. They had come to me and when I went to the meeting I could see their eyes bulge when they realized just how far along I was. But at the same time it bums me out a teensy bit to miss out on a big opportunity. One of the managers has made a few concessions to me – I can tell he feels bad about it. He has two things ready for me to lead in FY14… provided they get funded.

 

It’s the tradeoff being a professional working mom. A tradeoff I will deal with because while I really enjoy what I am doing right now at work, I love my family so much more.

 

So anyways, I started this section with how I feel. Honestly cruddy. I try not to complain and I try to remind myself how this is the last time I will feel a baby move within me and what a wonderful joy that is (even if times it brings tears to my eyes as he is whipping my insides into scrambled eggs). My back aches. I am having Braxton-Hicks contractions regularly and real contractions on occasion as well that stop me in my tracks and make me want to squeal. I never had these with my other two until I was in active labor. My heartburn is out of control and I have quit the pineapple and grapefruit for the most part. (And yes, we actually SAW hair on the last ultrasound – so the old wives tale is holding for me with three kids.) I am tired and grumpy. My appetite is actually returning. AB commented last night when I ate an entire meatball sandwich. I have spent 7 months basically picking at my food. This last week, food actually looks good again. Huge accomplishment!

32 Week Appointment

I remember when I worked in the dermatologist’s office and we had those patients with everything in the world "wrong" with them and who whined and whined. I can only imagine that it is 1000x worse as an obstetrician. Plus, as an ob, you get the added bonus of seeing those patients every 1-2 weeks when they are wacky hormonal and ready to birth.

 

My ob admitted to AB and me the other day they call those women, “wimpy patients”.

 

Today there was a wimpy patient in the room next to me. She was young and there with her mom, who probably wasn’t much older than me. She sobbed and sobbed and cried out in pain on a regular basis. And since the walls are paper thin I got to hear all the details – she was tired of being pregnant and very sore all over. Dr. M had checked her cervix and she was not ready to delivery (as he used to state with me and my first two, “green as a gourd”). She begged and begged him to induce her. Over and over. About four times he told her that her body wasn’t ready, the baby isn’t ready just yet, you need to just sit tight, bad things can happen when you induce someone early for no reason. (She was almost 37 weeks.) He layed out the plan – about four times – she would come back in 10 days at which point he would check her again. If she was still insistent on being delivered he would plan to induce her at 39 weeks, but not a minute before then.

 

I really like my ob, if you haven’t picked that up before.

 

He came into my office looking haggard, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said, “it is so good to see you, you probably heard next door, you are a sight for sore eyes right now!” Throughout all of my pregnancies he has commended me on my strength, my willingness to roll with the punches and face things head on. (Not that I had much of that with the first two.)

 

“I don’t get it,” he says, “you have these girls who come in with beautifully normal, non-problematic pregnancies who just do not have the ability to deal. Then you get the women like yourself where there are actual issues to work through, and they do it with grace. You have grace.”

 

I know he was venting. But I was kind of sitting there going, “ne ner ne ner, our doctor said I have grace!”

 

Anyways, onto me.

 

Let’s see, BP = 112/78. Weight gain a total of 11 lbs for the pregnancy.

 

I went to L&D last Thursday. I was having very mild contractions. I knew they were mild. But they were sore and not going away when I layed down. I called the office and since my ob was still whopping it up in New Orleans for the Super Bowl, they sent me to the hospital for monitoring. Shortly after getting on the monitor they came back and told me I had a UTI and that was likely causing the contractions. After my full hour on the monitor (hello lovely reading time) and downing a huge glass of water, they sent me on my way with heavy duty antibiotics.

 

I told my ob I felt like a dork afterwards, in some ways I feel like I should have known that was what it was, except for the fact that I have actually never had a UTI! He was glad I had gone in and not waited till my appointment a few days later as these infections can easily spread to the kidneys and that is very bad.

 

So next he determines that the baby is actually transverse. He asked me how long he has been lying transverse?

 

“Umm, probably about 20-30 mins,” I told him honestly. Seriously this baby flips and flops and rotates. Position long term? I don’t think there has been one!

 

Dr. M chuckled and tried again.

 

“Seriously, he moves ALL over, I doubt he will stay that position for long,” I told him.

 

“Well we can hope that is the case,” Dr. M resigned, “but we do need a plan just in case.”

 

Part of the problem with a transverse baby is that it throws the measurements off. Where I have been measuring big for the last two appts and Ultrasound shows too much fluid being the source for that, now we have no idea where things are and the fact that I am measuring a tad small is indicative of this. And that is concerning. So the ultrasound is this Friday.

 

The plan:

 

Ultrasound for fluid levels and baby’s size

 

Appt in 2 weeks (34/35 weeks) – check position, if transverse consider version for week 37.

 

(I bet he flips… of course Dr. M’s snarky response was “well then which way does he flip?”)

 

29 Week Appointment

So after our appointment with the high risk doctor last week I was a bit worked up and paranoid. I should now apologize to all around me.

 

We had an appointment with our regular ob, who is a pretty straight shooter with loads of experience. I just think he is awesome.

 

So yeah, I have a bit of extra fluid and it is outside of 2 sigma. But according to Dr. M, high risk doc is a great guy, but it is his job to find little concerns and turn them into big ones. He also apparently thinks that everyone has gestational diabetes regardless of the test results. Dr. M on the other hand seems quite convinced that I do NOT have gestational diabetes and stated that the baby isn’t big – he is 63^rd percentile – with GD at this point, you see bigger babies. And the truth of the matter is that I passed my 1 hour screen with flying colors. He stated he was more inclined to say that the high fluid levels are either just a fluke (i.e., we don’t typically diagnose on one data point) or it just happens with some people and we don’t know why and should count our blessings given that I am 41. He says he too often sees the opposite problem with women over 35 where the placenta starts deteriorating, fluids become low, etc. Right now all signs are that we have a very healthy pregnancy with a healthy baby boy.

 

I complained a little about my heartburn – what should I take beyond the Zantac I am taking twice a day.

 

“Let’s switch you to Pepcid, it works better. And I am assuming you are avoiding high acid foods?”

 

Silence.

 

“You know like orange juice, citrus fruits, tomato based sauces. You know this NM.”

 

Then AB starts to laugh, “You just listed off her main diet right there!”

 

Bratty husband ratted me out.

 

Yes, I KNOW I shouldn’t eat that stuff. I know it isn’t good for my esophagus (or gums) to eat grapefruit, pineapple and tomato based sauces ALL the time. But finding something else that actually sounds good. Tis not easy.

 

Dr. M was still thrilled with weight and bp – 8 lbs total gained since beginning of the pregnancy (on track for 1 lb/week until delivery) and my bp was 111/70. No swelling or water retention and in fact my rings are feeling looser – though it has been cold out and that could be the reason. He asked if I was able to keep sugar and carbs at a minimum still and asked about diet in general. Then bratty husband had to go and rat me out for a second time.

 

“She never eats!” he proclaims.

 

“I do to eat,” I said.

 

“What’s going on with the diet?” Dr. M asks.

 

“Just nothing ever tastes or sounds good except for pineapple, grapefruit or pasta,” I told him, leaving out the latte and pastry part… because they sound really good, but I really don’t eat a pastry very often. “Or I eat a bit and get full after a few bites,” I told him.

 

Thankfully he didn’t get on me about that and told AB not to worry about it so much. (So HA!) It isn’t like I am only eating candy. (Which frankly makes me gag as bad as meat does half the time.)

 

In all honesty though, this pregnancy has been very weird with food. NOTHING, absolutely nothing sounded good for the first half. And then I couldn’t keep stuff down anyways. So why eat good food that I would only be turned off of? Then the second half a few things have worked their way back onto my “I could eat that” list, but my stomach has no capacity. Not to mention that half the time I get started on something only to be turned off of it a few minutes later. Pregnancy eating is NOT fun this time around. Food will be one thing I will be ready to jump back on after delivering.

 

Anyways… good appointment. Dr. M thinks I will deliver around 38 weeks if fluid levels stay high – not 32 that the high risk doc was concerned about. Another ultrasound scheduled for a couple weeks to check fluid levels and make sure they aren’t completely out of whack. Plan is to deliver at the hospital that I had the other kids at. I asked about this because my coworker delivered at the other larger hospital. Of course if I go into labor early, like at 32 weeks, we will go there for the higher end NICU instead of the smaller hospital.

 

Phew – I don’t need to go out and buy EVERYTHING right now. At least I don't think so!