Going Home Outfit

When Leif came home from the hospital it was 100F+ degrees and we had him in a cute blue onesie and a shorts set.

Being born the first week in April - hand me downs won't work for a little bit.

I have spent a tiny bit of money on a few clearance outfits. But then finally was hit by THE going home outfit yesterday.

Wondering if in early April I will recall that it was snowing when I picked this out? Or if I will be thankful that I went with a one piece sweater?

Not sure - but it screamed at me. (And it was on clearance.)

12-29-12; 26 weeks

We had another prenatal appointment on Wednesday - LOW RISK!!

The genetic test came back from the high risk doctor and the word was that as long as the ultrasound of the heart comes back looking good I get to stay on the low risk list.

Whew! Finally!

So stats... BP 110/74 - I thought this seemed high (for me), but Dr. M was thrilled with it.

Weight: Up a total of 4 lbs. This I was a bit surprised at actually. I thought it would be more. So just under a lb a week for the last 4 weeks. Dr. M would like to see that hold steady through the remainder of the pregnancy for a total weight gain of 20 lbs. (I would like to see it that way as well.)

I am 26 weeks, but measuring between 27-28 weeks - which concerns me a bit for gestational diabetes. And I did the glucose tolerance test on Friday. Hoping for good news there, but a but nervous as sweets seem to be my food group of choice.

One more exam in 4 weeks and then I get to switch to every other week exams.

The house is moving along this week. Skadi's room is officially painted and ready to be moved into. (Hopefully tomorrow.) After having two kids rooms with over the top colors - we have narrowed down to a color scheme for the baby's room.

Beige.

I think we are on color overload after painting Skadi's room.

I will work on picking out a color this week and in the next few weeks getting the nursery done. I feel like I am way way behind - but my wonderful husband doesn't feel that need to push and finish it up!

21 Week Appointment - 21 weeks 4 days

(So sorry, posted a week late. I wrote it and never hit publish.)

 

All went pretty well! For the first time I have had an appointment that was just fine with no lingering concerns or doubts.

 

I have gained a whopping 1.2 lbs – which isn’t terribly surprising. I am still having an awkward relationship with food… though that bread pudding bar from Great Harvest Bread Co. after the appt today helped me out… well sort of I guess. It helped me love food for a few minutes. But didn’t help me in eating the sandwich that arrived after I had munched my yummy bar. Oh well. Sandwich will keep for lunch tomorrow.

 

Per AB’s request I quizzed him on the tortuous cord (that Skadi had) and he said we just don’t know. Similar to the ultrasound tech told us that cord issues are just hard to diagnose before labor and delivery.

 

I also quizzed him about travel. I have a trip upcoming in January and I will be 30 weeks then. His thought was that I could go on that trip and then none after that. I am not positive I will go on that trip – funding issues may dictate that only one of us goes, despite the intention from the program manager that more of the team should attend. But I am perfectly fine being the person to bow out.

 

Once again, there was a bit of difficulty in finding the heartbeat – though this time I wasn’t worried as I could feel him squirming all over the place. The heartbeat was finally located very low down. I told Dr. M that both ultrasound techs of recent have commented on how low the baby is – his response was that means I need to start slowing things down, sitting down when I can. He expects I will go to term, but that it might not be a very comfortable last trimester with the baby as low as he is appearing.

 

My other two were high up in my ribs. This whole baby sitting low thing is new to me and based off what I have heard from friends, not a barrel of monkeys. Not like rib kicks are fun either, but I think I would take that over 7 lbs sitting direcly on and kicking my cervix.

Halfway! 11/17/12, 20 Weeks

A friend of mine said to me yesterday that now that I was halfway, the time will really start flying! But you can't possibly realize how fast it has already flown! AB and I cannot believe we are halfway there.

Wow.

Wow.

Shockingly I still haven't bought anything other than the diaper bag. But truly, we don't need much. A new carseat. A pack and play (since we never had one with the other two). Disposable stuff like diapers, wipes, pacifiers, bottles, pumping supplies, burp cloths etc.

Ok, typing that all out makes me a bit paranoid actually. Maybe I should get to shopping.

I also realized in sorting through all the infant clothes last weekend that we are about a half a season off. All of Leif's baby clothes were summer summer clothes. His 3-6 month clothes winter clothes.

Hmmm...

Looks like I should get some clothes going too. A bit later the seasons won't matter as much - they are only 3 months off. But early on, they will likely matter.

We have a fair bit of stuff to do!

It's a BOY!

Yep! Boy baby!

I hadn't really thought about taking the kids to the ultrasound, but it ended up not being such a bad decision afterall. Skadi, as it turned out, had the day off school. So she was kind of coming no matter what. I had checked about a few friends to drop her with for the appointment and nearly everyone asked why we didn't just take her?

So then AB suggested that if we took Skadi, we really needed to take Leif. I asked Leif if he wanted to come and of course he did. Which meant some missed school, which made my heart ache a bit since we had just missed 6 days.

So we all had a leisurely morning getting ready and then ran off to see the baby in mommy's tummy!

The tech offered them lollipops right away and asked what it was going to be?

Leif responded, "A boy!" Easily. He was confident.

Skadi changed up her normal response. I think she was trying to be contrary as always - she can't agree with Leif or lend credence to his responses... So she said, "a girl!"

AB was positive it was a girl because the baby's heartrate has been so high consistently. I had been thinking boy since early on, but lately had nearly become convinced in it being a girl given AB's confidence and surety that he would NOT have to repaint Skadi's room once we moved her out.

Right off the bat she sticks the wand on my abdomen and without hesitation pronounces it "A BOY!"

I think AB sat there shell shocked for the remainder of the appointment. Leif immediately saw the opportunity and dove in with "I TOLD YOU SO!"

My quad screen had come back with high odds for Downs. Or at least high enough that it was called a "positive screen for Downs". One in 71 were the odds - which actually don't seem huge to me. So we have a referral to the high risk doctor for a high resolution ultrasound.

We brought our ultrasound tech up to speed with this and she was first surprised, but quickly reassured us that she didn't see anything at all questionable other than a healthy baby. She said there are three big markers for Downs in ultrasound that she can see - club feet, cyst in the brain and abnormal heart. All of those looked good. Proportions of limbs all looked good.

So all in all, a good visit! Good ultrasound!

November 4: 18 weeks 1 day

I survived the trip to Orlando!

I had a flare up of sciatica while there, which was NOT fun. But that appears to have been short lived and mostly a consequence of me being on my feet and walking and walking and walking. It was good for me, but painful at the end of the day.

I threw up one morning and haven't thrown up since. Yay me!

So all went pretty well on the trip all things considered. I have been having a lot more movement and can't wait till AB and the kids can feel the kicks and movement.

So the one downside is that my quad screen came back "positive for Downs". Now you need to understand the screen test - it is statistics. It is not a definitive yes, and in fact, it is more just a game of odds that take into consideration a blood test with a set of screening answers.

My odds are 1 in 71 - which actually isn't horrible (IMO). But apparently it is enough to call it a "positive" result and land me an appointment with the local high risk doctor for further testing.

I have no interest in an amnio. A definitive yes or no answer is not an issue because termination isn't an option for us. (Now had it been one of the trisomies that is not compatible with life, my answer may have been different.) I look forward to finding out what other screening there may be - I assume a high resolution ultrasound is in my future.

I really would just like this pregnancy to calm down a notch - an appointment whereby I go and hear the heartbeat and all is good would be grand! A test that doesn't come back funky, etc.

Ultrasound is on Friday... hoping for the best for that. Would be a great time to have an "all is good" appointment!

Prenatal Appt - 16 weeks 4 days

(So apparently I never posted this - just typed it all up and saved it...)

 

I told AB before the appointment that I just wanted a simple appointment. I just want to go in, get weighed, blood pressure, hear the heartbeat, tell Dr. M all has been fabulous and leave. He said, “but it’s fun getting the ultrasounds!” I have to admit, I love seeing our baby, but I look forward to a routine ultrasound and not another ultrasound because there is an issue. I was really hoping for this!

 

But I didn’t get it.

 

Weight: Down 1 lbs since my 12 week appt. Not surprising, I haven’t been able to enjoy food in ages. Actually I am JUST starting to enjoy food again. And my morning throw up sessions are fewer and further between.

 

BP: Low, can’t remember what it was.

 

Heartrate: He looked and he looked. Then he started taking my pulse. And I started freaking out. He said that he makes every effort not to react when he is concerned, but I saw it in his face. He started asking questions about movement. Well I started feeling movement a week ago pretty regularly, then nothing, then I felt way better and have been paranoid. But I threw up the day before, so I hoped that was good news.

 

Finally. FINALLY, a little heartbeat started. We listened for awhile and then Dr. M admitted to me he had been very concerned. I told him I was too and he said he knew that as he could feel my pulse start to race. He said that 2-3 times a year someone comes in outside the first trimester and there is no heartbeat. Said it is one of the hardest things in his job as he is used to being the one to swoop in and fix everything. And that, you just can’t fix.

 

I went and had my blood drawn for the quad screen. Scheduled the big, routine ultrasound for November 9^th. I scheduled it for AB’s day off and then realized afterwards that Skadi is also out of school thanks to our school district’s wonky kindergarten conference schedule. (No half days for kindergarteners, they all switch to morning and the AM and PM alternate days off completely.) I have waffled on taking her or not and I think I am finally siding with AB that if we take her, we also take Leif and pull him out of school for the morning to go to the appt. I have been hesitant on taking the kids knowing that every single appointment has had something weird or different. But I think I am convinced that we just take the kids.

 

Dr. M said that we have a good quad screen and good ultrasound than I get to move off the “high risk” list! Wee haw!

 

And high hopes for a good 20 week appointment with no monkey wrenches.

 

Oct 21, 2012: 16 weeks 1 day

So yesterday I got up and felt great! No pukey, no nausea, loads of energy and a desire to get things done.

I marvelled repeatedly about this with AB. You just don't know how GOOD it feels when you have been feeling like hell for 12 weeks to suddenly wake up and feel like you can conquer the world!

This comes at the perfect time as we are 5 days till our departure for Orlando for 8 days of Disneyworld, SeaWorld, Universal and R&D100 celebrations. AB was really starting to get worried about how my feeling urky was going to impact the trip for me. I kept reminding him if I feel bad, I go back to the room and lay down and the kids are old enough now (and tall enough) to continue hanging out with him. Sure it would be easier with 2 parents and 2 kids - but we need to start getting used to being outnumbered!

But yay! I am feeling just a ton better.

Of course that comes with its own paranoias... I am feeling better, but haven't felt the baby move. Granted they are itty bitty tiny little movements at this point, but Friday night I was reveling in them, and then Saturday nothing. Paranoia sets in - is everything ok?

I am a bit less concerned today as I woke up a touch urky. Cream of Wheat settled my stomach pretty quickly, but it did give me a bit of reassureance that I needed!

First Purchase

So yay! I bought something!!

 

As I have said before, time has just gotten away from me and I think that is the reason that I was 15 weeks along before I bought anything – not because I didn’t want to BUY anything!!

 

Here it is:

 

 

 

I have not so secretly coveted a Petunia Pickle Bottom bag for the last 8 years or so. I bought a knock off sometime after I had Leif - and I liked it. It worked for me. But the thing is in shambles now.

 

I keep telling myself I won't be buying much this time around - so make each purchase count.

 

Purchase #1... counts!

 

 

October 16: 15 weeks 3 days

I have decided that I am really, really ready to feel better. Really.

 

I recall hearing women talk about their pregnancies over the past few years – “this is it”, “we are done”, “no way will there be anymore”. And I always wondered if I would ever feel that way? I used to joke that it was good I didn’t start having kids at a much younger age as I would have 12 (and probably be broke).

 

I can officially say, “this is it”. I am done after this one.

 

AB laughed when I told him this – “but of course you are, you will be 41 when you have this one and we were never planning on more than 3!”

 

No, I explained to him, you don’t understand. My gut, my brain, my heart all say this is it and I don’t want to do this again. That’s huge for me. I never thought I would get to this point.

 

I think he got what I was saying.

 

So 15 weeks this weekend.

 

We finally came out on Facebook this past weekend. I was shocked at how many people – people who I don’t see on a regular basis even – said, “I had no idea!” almost as if they should have.

 

I found this kind of funny. I know you didn’t. Because we didn’t tell. And we mean no offense by it at all. There was one couple we wished we had gotten to - but just logistics didn't allow it. So her comment - yes, she is the one that gets to be shocked!

 

Really I think we intended to announce it earlier, but time just got away from us. Seriously this pregnancy #3 is flying by. I feel like I am going to blink my eyes and be in L&D (of course a few days past my due date) and wonder where time went.

 

 

So yes, I am done after this one and I feel it in my heart. That doesn’t mean I want to skip over the coming few months – provided things start looking up and I quit feeling like crappola. This pregnancy hasn’t been easy. AB reminds me that I was so much sicker with Skadi. I was, yes. But I have had more ailments and other issues with this one. This Sunday night and Monday day was a touch of the stomach flu – or food poisoning. I am starting to come back – ever so slowly.

 

Oct 7, 14 weeks 1 day

Wow, this pregnancy is FLYING by. I am already 14 weeks? How is that even possible.

Symptoms: Still puking daily. At this point it isn't really that big of a deal. I feel crummy in the morning, after I puke, I feel better. And I feel mostly fine all day until 9-10pm at which point I am just best off being in bed. The fatigue has let up. I can make it through the day without a nap, or feeling as if I am so tired I am going to fall over.

Food: Aversions a plenty. I don't crave anything. There are things that taste better than others - I can usually tolerate an English Muffin at just about any time. I should have bought stock in the Thomas brand - they have the best English Muffins. Apple juice, that usually tastes pretty good, but I have to be careful not to overdo it as it will also make me queasy. Miso soup has never tasted so good. And hot tea. Love some good hot tea. But I am not craving anything in particular.

Purchases: None. I don't need much, but since this is the last one and we are finding out gender I am waiting to buy items so I can buy gender specific! Something I haven't been able to do to this point!

Names: We have two girl first names and two boy first names. The way AB said it the other day it seemed pretty simple. I had a list for both, but we agreed that none on the list trumped the two we had for each gender. So there it is. Middle names up next. Then ruling out one gender.

I went on travel this past week and it wasn't horrible. The biggest hurdle was not letting it be totally obvious that I am pregnant. I was with about 8 other staff members, none of which know I am pregnant. And probably only one who would actually care when she finds out. It isn't that telling people is that big of a deal at this point I suppose - it's that I haven't spilled to my own direct managers. Not sure why that is seeming hard at this point. I suppose maybe because I am still hoping (probably fruitlessly hoping) for that promotion to the next PM level. Though I am realizing that at this point the decisions have been made and that in theory my being pregnant or not shouldn't have a bearing at this point. Not that it SHOULD have a bearing at any point, but I work in the dark ages.

I felt my first actual little kick the other night. It felt like someone flicked me with their finger. I have felt the little "butterfly kisses" here and there for awhile, but the first kick was just a couple nights ago.

I had one of those surreal moments the other day. You know where it suddenly hits you that "oh, that would be me!" Someone mentioned something about buying newborn diapers. Oh crap yeah! I am going to be changing itty bitty diapers again!

Anyways, there's my update for my entrance into the second trimester. Let's hope it is easier than the first!

Names

I actually have a favorite boy’s name. AB seems to like it, but doesn’t want to put too much thought into names at this point since we are planning to find out the gender. THEN we will worry about names.

 

 

But I came across a name I like. And AB perked up when I mentioned it.

 

 

We have always had trouble with boy’s names. It is good that Skadi wasn’t a boy… We can come up with umpteen girl’s names (though we have our two leading favorites), but boys perplex us. We knew early on that Leif would be Leif. We both loved it. Skadi was a last minute decision between her name and one of the two current leading favorites.

 

 

Now the issue with this boy’s name? It is currently ranked #183 in the US according to one website. In our world of names, that is popular. And therefore a little concerning. My kids don’t worry about having the same name as 10 other little kids around.

 

 

Skadi (common saying coming from her): “She is one of my Maddie friends.” (Because she has SO many friends named Maddie… kind of like Jennifer when I was a kid.)

 

 

Ugh.

 

 

I am struggling with this.

 

 

Oh and then it isn’t Scandinavian. It is Hebrew. Another complication?

 

 

And don’t even get me started on middle names. Middle names are family names by my family’s tradition. A tradition that AB and I have latched onto for Leif and Skadi. Leif John (after AB’s dad) and Skadi Jeanne (after me, my mom, my grandma, my great grandma…).

 

 

AB suggested my mom’s name for a girl’s middle name. I declined it in favor of her favorite girl’s name – she always wanted a granddaughter named after her grandmother. I might be able to slip it by AB as a middle name, but as a first name I could never get him to latch on.

 

 

A boy’s middle name? I may resort to pushing my maternal grandfather’s middle name again. Though unique, AB can cite 2 guys he has known with this name – yes and one I knew. And he was a bit of a doofus. He was one of my students in grad school who ended up working with AB after his graduation with a BS in chemistry.

 

 

But really, open to any and all suggestions on the middle name front.

 

And yes, we are sticking to our same tradition with the other two kids of not divulging names until the child is born. Though some who are close may be able to glean some hints on middle names.

 

Sept 30: 13 weeks 1 day

Hello 2nd trimester!

Would you please take the nausea and fatigue and run please first trimester? Pretty please?

I seem to have an every other day thing going on. One day I feel pretty good, the next I puke and am nauseated and completely fatigued. I guess I am headed in the right direction though - down from the everyday thing.

I had my 12 week appt this week. Yes, a mild uterine prolapse, though it should correct itself here in the next few weeks as my uterus grows into my abdomen.

Then we went to listen for the heartbeat with the Doppler and nothing. Not a peep. I actually wasn't terribly concerned as I had read my 12 week appt details with Skadi and we couldn't find it then either. Plus, I had puked that morning and felt urky while sitting there. But just to be sure Dr. M decided to take another look with the ultrasound and sure enough a little heart beating quickly.

We didn't get a heart rate this time, or any pictures, but saw the arms and legs crossed, head down, heart, bladder. Sweet baby!!

I am still not to that point where I am enjoying eating. Nor do I particularly enjoy brushing my teeth. And I am not puking first thing in the morning... if I puke it is a bit later. So really not enjoying eating, brushing my teeth, then deciding I am going to puke and getting to do those two thins all over again. Gag.

Skadi and I went to buy a formal dress for the R&D100 awards. She was in her element and found dress after dress for me to try on. I ended up leaving with the first one I had grabbed - and Skadi's least favorite (it is navy, not pink). But I believe it will be flattering with a baby bump as it is side ruched and stretchy fabric. And because they were there and actually felt good, I bought a pair of strappy heels and a shawl to go with. Came home and ordered a strapless bra and I do think I am nearly set.

I go on travel next week to Las Vegas. Can't say that I am overly thrilled about it, but really not looking forward to the return trip home. I leave at 6pm and get in here at 10:45pm. Will be very happy to be home for the night, but hope I can tolerate the flights without throwing up. AB has suggested that I take a compazine before getting on the plane and sleep the whole way home. That might work.

Sept 25: 12 weeks 3 days

 

Wow, closing in on the completion of the first trimester! Awesome!

As of today I am feeling better. I didn’t puke today, but I am not sure that really says a lot. Particularly since I puked yesterday and a single data point says nothing. But the all day nausea and urky feeling is nearing gone. The metal mouth is pretty well gone as well as the extreme after tastes. And much to my relief, the fatigue is lifting. The fatigue has really been killing me, but I don’t feel the need to nap lately.

We have told all our family – or at least all the family that probably cares. And starting to tell the general public on an as needed basis. Like the other day one of my coworkers was trying to get me to come down to the lab to see and smell how it was going. We had a large chemical/fire event thing last February and the lab is FINALLY getting cleaned out. But he proclaimed, “it still stinks some”. I told him that I can’t come down until the chemical smell is gone, completely. He was perplexed as I had been in there a number of times in the last 8 months. I finally gave it up and told him I am pregnant. Talk about surprise!

I have my 12 week appointment tomorrow morning. Thank goodness. I have one major concern – I think I am getting a uterine prolapse. Anyways, ugh. Don’t need to talk anymore about that and I will wait and see what he has to say tomorrow. I called last week and they told me no lifting or straining and to spend as much time as I can with my feet up. Working on that… not sure how effectively.

Food – my hate hate relationship with food might be improving. I might be willing to cook some actual dinner again someday… maybe even in time for my book club on Oct 12!

Haven't puked in three days!

Just saying!

10 weeks, 2 days today.

Nearing the Double Digits - 9 weeks 4 days

And I still can’t believe we haven’t really told anyone!

 

 

Let’s see, general update:

 

 

Puking every morning – check, got that one down.

General nausea – check, all day long. Mastered that one.

Headaches – Very sick of them thank you.

Fatigue – Excuse me while I go take a nap, I will come back to this later…

 

 

I think I can deal with the puking every morning. I have learned not to eat first, because it just means that whatever I throw up I don’t want to eat anymore ever ever again. And I already have enough stuff on my list that I don’t want to eat. Anyways, it would be nice to not puke every day, but it isn’t like with Skadi where I was puking round the clock. Nausea I can somewhat control at this point by not letting myself get too hungry – of course that means that I am eating a ton of carbs… and being a pain in the rear about meetings that are back to back to back or span the lunch hour. Also I am sure I am starting my weight gain early.

 

 

But what is really driving me absolutely batty is the fatigue. My poor kids get to the afternoon and want to actually DO stuff. I get to 2-3pm and if I don’t lay down and take a nap I will probably fall down. And take a nap. This fatigue is killer this time around. I get home from work to meet the bus and can barely keep my eyes open.

 

 

I had a good 8 week appointment. I think Dr. M was a bit surprised to see me sitting there. Ok, he actually said as much. We had long discussions about complications and potential issues given the fact that I am 40. I decided on a moderate level of testing – Ultrasound at 10-11 weeks, quad screen at about 14 weeks and only if those items and the big ultrasound at 18 weeks are questionable, then an amnio. Would rather not pursue the amnio if we don’t really need to.

August 20, 2012 7 weeks-ish

Yep, still here. A bit urky – though so far not as bad as with Skadi. But as Hans puts it, I still have time.

This last week I was able to get a picture of the peanut and a heartbeat! 125 bpm. After having a bit of bleeding, but then rising HCG levels, they brought me in for an ultrasound. I jumped on that opportunity and was thrilled to see a baby in there! Wow! Such a feeling that is so indescribable to someone who hasn’t caught their first glimpse of their child. Hearing the heartbeat is something else completely. Just made me so happy!

She estimated my due date at April 9^th, which bumps me back three days. In a way I kind of feel gyped! I lost three days! I am keeping it open ended at this point and am waiting to get an official due date from Dr. M. And I am hoping he sides with me!

Yeah, what does it matter… I will be late anyways.

We still haven’t told anyone and no plans in the immediate future to do so. I kind of wanted to bring the kids into the fold this past weekend when I felt like I was sick and urky and grumpy all weekend. I guess I wanted an excuse to give them – ‘you guys really aren’t horrible kids, mommy is just pregnant and I don’t feel good, so yay you are going to have a younger brother or sister!’ But yeah, that didn’t happen. AB wants to wait until the end of the first trimester. Five more freaking weeks? ‘So you know kids I was sick and really grumpy over the last two months, well it’s because you are going to have a younger brother or sister. And now I am feeling so much better!’

We are also struggling with telling family because now it sounds like we may have a family event (a wedding) on my due date. Yep. Oh and a request that we host the reception. Umm yeah…

Anyways, moving along.

Cravings? Well about the only thing that sounds good is carbs. Bagels, doughnuts and baked potatoes with all the fixings.

Aversions? Nearly everything? I crave steak until it is sitting in front of me. I thought caprese salads were going to be my thing, but now I can’t stand looking at a tomato.

I am thinking back to the things I liked with the other pregnancy. Chicken and rice soup – I remember that with Skadi. I need to get on Stone Soup’s FB page and see what they have for the week.

August 12, 2012: 6 wks 2 days

The nausea seems (so far) to be controllable for the most part. Lot of water, ginger cookies and carbs. Fruit has also been helpful.

So let's see, it was a busy, yet pretty uneventful week. I needed a week where I spent the vast majority of time sitting at my desk. Two guys I work with were out this past week which made it a particularly quiet week for me at work. I loved it. I spent the vast majority of the week writing and reworking a report that a young (green) staff member had written that was pretty horrid. I can deal with weeks like that.

So the eventful side of this pregnancy started Thursday when I woke up to some light bleeding. It tapered off over the next 36 hours. I called Dr. M and his nurse sent me in for bloodwork. First draw Thursday, second one will be tomorrow. Given the way I feel (urky) and that the bleeding stopped, I am fairly confident that I am not losing this baby - at least right now. Still I find myself much more paranoid about this pregnancy.

I am really looking forward to my first visit with my ob on August 28th and am hoping I can get an early ultrasound to waylay my concerns. This early pregnancy has just been so different from both of my others.

So let's see - cravings? None really. Carbs are good - bagels with cream cheese are good. Protein (beef) is good most of the time, but there are times it really isn't good. Chicken is still fine. Fruit and vegies are good.

Aversions - depends on the hour. Bacon smelled and looked horrid yesterday.

August 5, 2012: 5 weeks 1 day

So we went camping this past weekend. Little bouts of nausea here and there, but nothing horrible. The tiredness though is already setting in. Saturday afternoon I was so tired I layed down in the trailer and took a nap. I never take naps. But this one did me good.

Aversions - I have been having a harder time with sweet foods, loving the fresh produce and savory. Caprese salads still too - weird. And my favorite salted caramel ice cream? AB brought it to me in the trailer last night and after three bites I thought I was going to be sick. Strange.

So I did make a phone call on Thursday and told my good friend who I work closely with. I needed to tell him why I couldn't go in and work on the pyrolysis products. And once I told him I was expecting I was happy that he immediately said, "no way can you go in and work on that!" I wasn't just being overly paranoid.

We talked a little more - about like that I won't be going to New Orleans in early April to accept our third award for our work. (He isn't sure he will go to Orlando in November to help accept our second award since his wife is expecting in January.) Then we talked logistics of baby stuff - how long they might need some of the baby items before handing them back to us.

Though he is one of my closest coworkers/friends it was very difficult to tell him I was pregnant. And it still feels a little weird that aside from AB and I, that he is the only other person who knows. We are in theory waiting to tell everyone until after the 8 week appointment... though there could be circumstances that pop up before and we won't deny it!

I am looking for a clever way to tell friends and family. I need to look around for ideas...

August 1, 2012: 4 weeks 4 days

So I just got a notice in my work e-mail that they will be painting in the building in the coming weeks. Nope, I am not worried about the paint fumes affecting the baby, I am worried about them affecting me and my nausea. Lovely.

Ok, so 4 weeks and 4 days along apparently. I have been a bit nauseated off and on. Pretty much all the time, I at least feel like my stomach is sitting in my throat. Sometimes worse than others. Biggest symptom so far though is the nose. I can smell EVERYTHING. Just like the last two pregnancies.

So I did go back and read my pregnancy blog from Skadi. Wow, I was right, she was a girl and she would torment me – in utero and in life! I also laugh about my cravings – chicken fingers and serious aversion to vegetables. Hello do you know my daughter? Seriously now.

No food aversions yet, though I am finding I am just not starved. But I am having a serious tomato craving – Caprese salad please. I am finding a farmer’s market tonight and hopefully grabbing some fresh heirloom tomatoes. Must have them.

Lots of questions and thoughts – like, oh my goodness I need a new car. We are thinking about finding out the gender this time so we can prepare. We loved not knowing with Leif and Skadi. But this time (not that it really did before) gender doesn’t matter. We have supplies for both and knowing gender earlier will enable us to move kids’ rooms, get rid of one entire set of gender clothing, and will be a neat way to bring the kids in to it. Knowing the gender ahead of time may help with any potential disappointment on their ends. (From conversation a few weeks ago – they both want a brother.)

Both kids right now are really into asking about babies, seeing babies (Skadi really, not Leif) and asking about their behaviors while in utero. Really kind of strange actually that this has picked up.

We don’t really have plans to tell people yet. In fact, it has lately become more of an issue of how not to tell people. Like how do I tell my coworkers that I cannot go clean out the pyrolysis products on that piece of equipment because I am paranoid of fumes? Or how do I tell one of my closest friends that pregnant women aren’t allowed on the water slide? (Thank you Skadi for BEGGING me to take her into the water NOW!)

One of my good friends I work with is expecting #3 in January and has some of our baby stuff. And in fact, we just talked about it on Friday when he asked if he could purchase the items. I said no – he could have them and if by some miracle I ended up pregnant, return them then. Well ummm… I kind of hate to pull it back, but we should talk about this so we can figure out who gets to buy a new cosleeper…

And 19 months later...

I tested positive today.

19 months ago we decided to try for #3.

It didn't happen.

7 months ago we decided to surrender.

3 months ago I decided to start getting rid of baby stuff.

I spent the last month and a half sorting through everything remaining that I hadn't gotten rid of already related to baby and labeling it all for a garage sale to happen in exactly 12 days.

And then I got my positive this morning.

It was a surprise - and then it wasn't.

Sore breasts - just like I was getting my period. Then the period didn't come. Then at day 27 of my cycle (yesterday) I woke up nauseated and stayed nauseated all day.

This morning I woke up nauseated and stayed nauseated.

It had to be a bug - because I didn't start getting sick with Skadi until I was 6 weeks along. Then I was oh so very, very sick.

Oh and then there's the test. Very positive. With the other two I didn't get positives until well after my period was due. Strong positive before my period is due?

I am scared!

So much is going through my mind right now.

Happy. Scared. Nervous.

I think I am more nervous with this one then the other two.

And if you know me and you are reading this. Mums the word for a little longer.