On finding out the gender

I don't think it is a secret that with my first two, we didn't find out the genders. With Leif it was something we thought we were supposed to do. AB and I were relatively indifferent to finding out the gender of the baby I was carrying, but so many people around us were anxious to find it out. And being that I was 32 and healthy, I got my one of two ultrasounds I had that pregnancy. So it wasn't like we were in having looks at the baby every few weeks. We finally made the decision to find out.

And that little baby was not cooperative. Then we enjoyed not knowing the gender! We drove our family and friends nuts.

Then the second time around with Skadi we decided not to find out. We loved not knowing!

It was a bit more difficult with decorating and maybe this is why Skadi is over the top girly is that she spent those first few years of her life in a gender neutral room. And clothing - well I had the logistics of having to buy two outfits to take to the hospital and return one. And then dealing with gender neutral stuff for those first few months with only a few gender specific clothes sprinkled in.

A friend of mine when I was pregnant with Leif said that she felt she bonded better with her baby after finding out the gender. She could assign a "her" (and therefore a name) to the baby and not a moniker. One of the guys I work with once told me that his wife HAD to find out. That they would be going back to the ultrasound tech and paying out of pocket to find out the genders of their babies had they not been cooperative. The reason? Because she was very organized and couldn't proceed with her planning without knowing the gender. Then there is my sister - who is just one of the most impatient people in the world and loves to know the surprises in life! She always has!

I do love how people are so different and I think it very important to emphasize that differences are good. I didn't fall into any of the above categories. I bonded just fine with the monikers we assigned to the first two babies. I am a huge planner, but I just planned not knowing the gender. And I love surprises. If I could I would just sit there with my Christmas presents in front of me for as long as possible without opening them and just admiring and considering the possibilities. I love the anticipation and upon finding out a gift, it isn't that I am let down or disappointed, but that rush of anticipation is gone and leaves a little bitty hole behind.

So as I told my husband this morning, "if we were to have another baby, which we aren't, I wouldn't find out the gender."

It isn't that I am disappointed. I guess it is hard to explain. Maybe it is that I feel that anticipation let down that I feel after opening my Christmas presents?

I do love being able to paint my last nursery gender specific and grab a few outfits on clearance. And the ability to chop our name list in half once we found out. I love hearing my kids talk about their baby brother. I enjoyed my daughter telling me that she really hopes that the new baby doesn't look JUST like Leif as she doesn't want to be surrounded by Leif's. I like all that.

But I REALLY love the surprise reveal after 40 (or 41) weeks and the labor!